sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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