worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
