somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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