The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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