She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
