is your mom at the bar?
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Two words: blizzard sex
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
