I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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