Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
