I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
