You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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