Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it's great music for shaving your balls
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
