Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I came so hard my ears popped.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
