tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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