I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
