Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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