why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
