is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
