I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize