tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
