I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize