I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize