no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
