my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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