??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
