VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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