i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
