just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
