I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
