My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
