The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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