pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
