good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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