my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I think i peed on brittanys purse
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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