Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
