The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
