Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm eating all of the evidence.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
