The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
