that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
