His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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