@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
