so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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