apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm too high and old for this...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
