with your own penis?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
