I cannot find my penis.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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