im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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