I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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