6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize