How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
