If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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