I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
