just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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