im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
