there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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