I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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