Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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