your thong is hanging out like whoa
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She said her name was "party"
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
