i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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